Koei Tecmo acquires Gust

Koei Tecmo Games Co. Ltd today announced plans to absorb Gust – another prominent Japanese gaming company – at the beginning of October, we can exclusively reveal.

“What drew us to Gust was their portfolio of atrocious tacky franchises we can’t wait to cancel” said Jun Shiraishi, a lead programmer speaking to us today. “Obviously here at Koei Tecmo we have a proud tradition of starting franchises with utterly no promise or execution before leaving them to languish in the dust.”

Mr. Shiraishi spoke energetically of the work his company had done in cancelling such franchises as One Piece: Pirate Warriors (Kaizoku Musou in Japan), Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball, and Zill O’ll – the latter being a particularly proud achievement for the company according to Mr. Shiraishi, and one he felt was not properly recognized by the gaming press.

“A lot of work goes into planning the arc of a franchise like Zill O’ll.” said Mr. Kenda, a close associate of Mr. Shiraishi. “The game has to be incredibly bad, sure, but also plausible. And it can’t be too bad, or you’ll forever be just the company that made that one bad game – and that’s disastrous in terms of ensuring your future franchise deaths are notable.”

“It’s important to put up the pretense of attempting to save it. Low budget ports or remakes are a great idea – something that can give the illusion of confidence in a product without actually increasing costs too much. And then just as it reaches the cusp of desperation, boom. You let it fall and never mention it again.”

So, what future does the company have in store for Gust? Mr. Shiraishi was very candid about what he’d like to see.

“Oh man, the Surge franchise is something I can’t wait for us to bin.” he said, laughing heartily. “I mean, an always-online resource-timer based dating sim? You have to give them credit – those guys really know how to get the maximum air of abject desperation out of utterly no effort put into game design.”

“But really, I don’t think it’s so much what we can do for them, as what their expertise can show us. The way Gust ruined Ar Tonelico with Qoga and killed that franchise instantly honestly blew my mind. I actually really thought they were serious with that franchise, and seeing them pull that curveball out of nowhere is one of those surprises that gives you faith in the medium as a creator.”

“I hope one day, we can do something half as good as that.” he concluded, looking wistfully at the Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z promotional poster hanging in the foyer.